Attitude of Gratitude

I thought this such a clever moniker the first time I heard it. Now I find it a tired cliche, although I still subscribe to the weak research that having gratitude, specifically, leads to a healthier emotional state and therefore a more quality life. Except, I'm failing at my new year's resolution.

Let me get something straight here, I'm happy. I'm lucky and I like my life, a lot. In most cases, I'm embarrassed by the life that I am lucky enough to have bestowed upon me. Look at where I live, the cars I drive, the material possessions. It's over the top, seriously.

I also enjoy sarcasm, dry wit and finding the bitter humor in life. I love to find the stupidity in life. Because, let's face it, we all do stupid things in the name of something. Parenting is but one example. Seriously, look at the host of completely insane acts we perform in the name of raising "good" kids, "independent" kids, "intelligent" kids, etc., etc. All backed by pseudo science and printed in so called "parenting" magazines by "experts".

I slept with my kids. Ooooo, scary right. In 12 years, so far, I'm waiting for the adverse effects. But, I digress. I was discussing my attitude, which apparently is less than stellar. In fact, I've been informed, is down right shitty and bitter.

I must say, with the plethora of thought swimming around in my head, this was NOT on my list. Let's just spell out what I am so that random parts of you can read it and think otherwise. Doubt me, I don't have time to worry about it. I am by nature a skeptic. That isn't a dirty word. A skeptic is a good thing.

So, what I am. Happy, a realist, a skeptic, an open book, excited, and desirous that everyone be happy, respectful, critically thinking human beings. Oh, and I'm just about as FLAWED and IMPERFECT as they come. And being that I'm not perfect, I just figure that the rest of the world is as flawed as I am. Funny thing, I don't care. I don't care if you are "flawed".

I just have to wonder, what in the name of all that is holy do I have to do to please the fucking world? If I look as happy on the surface as all those stepford wives, does that cure my so called bitter attitude. If I hide what I think, pretend that I'm happy in times when I'm not, will that help? If I am unfailingly civil and perfect and acquiesce to all those mindless boobs around me, does that work? I don't get it, I just don't get it.

Funny thing is, when I was all of the latter, I was down right miserable.