Oh Ghawd!!

I consider myself a very non-squeamish person. I pick up worms, tarantulas, bugs and snakes. I have no problem with garbage, weird smells, spiders. Well, I've met my match.

This morning, while going over lessons with buck-buck #2, we had an encounter. Picture the warm cozy moment. Chilly morning, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, talking about what assignments need to get done before lunch. It's a good thing. Until he says to me, "Wow, Mom! Check that out!" he exclaims. "Look at that rat!"

Rat! Rat? Did you say rat? As in, Central Park Gopher? I turned to observe out my french doors, at the top of my stairs leading from that deck in the back yard, just that. A Central Park Gopher, MEANDERING, oh yes, meandering, as in; to move aimlessly and idly without fixed direction, across the soda pop boxes and casually climb down that side of the stairs to disappear under the deck between the stairs and the air conditioner. Oh My Ghawd! I dropped, DROPPED my coffee and climbed a chair.

I'm shaking. I'm having an anxiety attack. Oh my hell! It's fucking rodent. That likes garbage!! Oh my hell, I realize that my house is not the epitome of clean, but please! It's not that filthy.

Buck-Buck #1 is now giving me all the vital scientific information about these lovely creatures. (SARCASM!) He has informed me, that like gerbils, they can reproduce rather prolifically and that they have two uteruses. So they can be pregnant with a litter of up to 20! They have them 10 at a time, he tells me. I've informed him that his wealth of information is not currently helpful.

I think I'm going to pass out!