I Don't Do THAT In Public
It was some months ago that a little secret of mine got out. In a renewal of exploring who I am, was, may still be, I returned to a former aspect of myself to indulge in something that I can't get enough of. Something that I love with great passion. Something that I am almost as passionate about as my Offspring and my kids. Each and everyone.
So, the cat escape the bag. I went back to taking voice lessons and found myself a coach. My Blondie gave me grief about not singing for him.
Me: I sing for you. I just don't do it in public.
Blondie: Yeah, 'cause you don't have any of these. (He gestures to his package)
Me: What these? (grabbing my lack of boobage) Yes, you're right.
Blondie: Yeah, you'd have to grow a pair of these to do it in public. (He again gestures to his package.)
Me: Hey! I resemble that!
What I did hear was, "I double dog dare ya!". Oh, Oh, I will not be yellow. (Well, most of the time, just ask Sparky.) So I reluctantly joined the choir at church. After a few practices I thought, hey, this isn't so bad. I can do this. Ha, ha, then we performed. Mmmm, four shots of Vodka and two performances later I white knuckled the pew to try and stop shaking.
In my funny little dream world, you know the one, where I still have all my "Jack" and I am a stunning stage performer, I "wow" everyone with my solo performances. In real life, I ignore the prospect of singing without people to hide me, in public.
Two weeks ago as we tittered and mingled between practice pieces at choir rehearsal I heard my name. And then, she said it again.
Prim and Proper: Would you sing the solo part on this piece?
Me: Stunned look. Blood rushing to my feet. Heart racing
Prim and Proper Partner: Ha, ha, she appears to be a deer in headlights.
Yes, yes, that would be an adequate description. Sing, you say? By myself? In a public performance?
Well, she just started playing and then it was my turn to sing and then the choir followed and then, I WAS ON THE PROGRAM?!?! I'll give a hint what I'm thinking. I believe my Sparky Jack introduced me to the term...WTF!!!!! How did I get myself into this? Did I say yes? I have to sing, in public, by myself!!!
Well, I'm comforted to know that none of you will be there. So, you won't see me squeak like a mouse and watch the congregation wince as I slaughter the music. Oh, and if you read this and even FATHOM of informing certain members of my immediate family, I will HURT you. (That means you Princess. And you Sally!!) I'll just let you hear what the song is SUPPOSED to sound like...
So, the cat escape the bag. I went back to taking voice lessons and found myself a coach. My Blondie gave me grief about not singing for him.
Me: I sing for you. I just don't do it in public.
Blondie: Yeah, 'cause you don't have any of these. (He gestures to his package)
Me: What these? (grabbing my lack of boobage) Yes, you're right.
Blondie: Yeah, you'd have to grow a pair of these to do it in public. (He again gestures to his package.)
Me: Hey! I resemble that!
What I did hear was, "I double dog dare ya!". Oh, Oh, I will not be yellow. (Well, most of the time, just ask Sparky.) So I reluctantly joined the choir at church. After a few practices I thought, hey, this isn't so bad. I can do this. Ha, ha, then we performed. Mmmm, four shots of Vodka and two performances later I white knuckled the pew to try and stop shaking.
In my funny little dream world, you know the one, where I still have all my "Jack" and I am a stunning stage performer, I "wow" everyone with my solo performances. In real life, I ignore the prospect of singing without people to hide me, in public.
Two weeks ago as we tittered and mingled between practice pieces at choir rehearsal I heard my name. And then, she said it again.
Prim and Proper: Would you sing the solo part on this piece?
Me: Stunned look. Blood rushing to my feet. Heart racing
Prim and Proper Partner: Ha, ha, she appears to be a deer in headlights.
Yes, yes, that would be an adequate description. Sing, you say? By myself? In a public performance?
Well, she just started playing and then it was my turn to sing and then the choir followed and then, I WAS ON THE PROGRAM?!?! I'll give a hint what I'm thinking. I believe my Sparky Jack introduced me to the term...WTF!!!!! How did I get myself into this? Did I say yes? I have to sing, in public, by myself!!!
Well, I'm comforted to know that none of you will be there. So, you won't see me squeak like a mouse and watch the congregation wince as I slaughter the music. Oh, and if you read this and even FATHOM of informing certain members of my immediate family, I will HURT you. (That means you Princess. And you Sally!!) I'll just let you hear what the song is SUPPOSED to sound like...
posted by Molly Sue at
8:34 PM
2 Comments:
Oh baby...I'm coming...I need to watch the faces when the word "God" comes up!
Maybe I'll call Disney...see if I can get your exec to record it for me!
;)
Ha ha! That exec has been beggin me to try this for YEARS!! And yes, unfortunatelty it will be recorded, by the church.
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