You Feel....Sorry?
Sorry, as in you have sympathy. As opposed to empathy. Similar, but not the same.
I've heard this particular phrase over the last year, repeated by those that really would like to think that they share a sympathy for another individual and their "situation" or "issue", but, that squishy gray matter betwixt my ears got to buzzing after John Boy expressed a thought about the after events of his mother's death.
John Boy: "It bothered me when people told me that they were "sorry" about my Mom's death. Sympathy? Yeah. Empathy, ? Maybe. But, sorry was always an apology for me and they didn't cause my mother's death, so why apologize?"
Now, realize that he fully understands WHY people SAY they are sorry. They don't know what TO say, and they want to show sympathy. They're trying. Well, I hear this phrase related to a context that peaks my curiosity. When I tell people, on occasion, where I've been working (I like to call it work, because it makes it sound so much more, productive) the repeated response I get..."So sad, those poor kids. What a tough life, I feel so sorry for them."
Sorry? Why? It occurs to me that the "sorry" or "sympathy" is not for the position that society forces upon the individual, including the one expressing the "sorrow". It is an expression of "sorrow" for their orientation. Their "choice" or their being "compelled" by another individual to think they have this orientation.
Well, stop. Don't feel sorry for their orientation. The misappropriated sympathy contributes to misunderstanding. It perpetuates the "otherness" that so many of us inappropriately categorize this minority in. It's time to celebrate each and everyone of the GLBTQ in our communities, our churches and our lives. And thank the Lord above for the wisdom in granting us with their presence. I am thankful everyday that they are out in the world teaching us about unconditional love and courage. I celebrate how fortunate I am to be able to call so many of them my sons, daughter, friends and loved ones.
Attitude of gratitude. Have you hugged a queer today?
I've heard this particular phrase over the last year, repeated by those that really would like to think that they share a sympathy for another individual and their "situation" or "issue", but, that squishy gray matter betwixt my ears got to buzzing after John Boy expressed a thought about the after events of his mother's death.
John Boy: "It bothered me when people told me that they were "sorry" about my Mom's death. Sympathy? Yeah. Empathy, ? Maybe. But, sorry was always an apology for me and they didn't cause my mother's death, so why apologize?"
Now, realize that he fully understands WHY people SAY they are sorry. They don't know what TO say, and they want to show sympathy. They're trying. Well, I hear this phrase related to a context that peaks my curiosity. When I tell people, on occasion, where I've been working (I like to call it work, because it makes it sound so much more, productive) the repeated response I get..."So sad, those poor kids. What a tough life, I feel so sorry for them."
Sorry? Why? It occurs to me that the "sorry" or "sympathy" is not for the position that society forces upon the individual, including the one expressing the "sorrow". It is an expression of "sorrow" for their orientation. Their "choice" or their being "compelled" by another individual to think they have this orientation.
Well, stop. Don't feel sorry for their orientation. The misappropriated sympathy contributes to misunderstanding. It perpetuates the "otherness" that so many of us inappropriately categorize this minority in. It's time to celebrate each and everyone of the GLBTQ in our communities, our churches and our lives. And thank the Lord above for the wisdom in granting us with their presence. I am thankful everyday that they are out in the world teaching us about unconditional love and courage. I celebrate how fortunate I am to be able to call so many of them my sons, daughter, friends and loved ones.
Attitude of gratitude. Have you hugged a queer today?
posted by Molly Sue at
6:46 PM
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