Self Preservation

Remember first grade? There was the kid in class who was oh, so cool. The kid everyone wanted to be friends with. And, you qualified or you didn't. If you did, oh elation. But don't ever piss that kid off. Or do something that they can turn around on you.

Then, it happens, your moment of unconscious stupidity. That kid turns on you and you spend the rest of your school existence trying to protect yourself from making another bone head move like that again.

Or how about the first time you tell someone you love them. What if they don't reciprocate? The first time you get dumped.

Weird, strange and ironic how those feelings and reactions stay with us our whole lives. I was bullied in school. You're thinking, eh, too bad, so sad. But, I still get the same queasy feeling in certain situations and with some people. What is that? Why don't we grow out of that? Isn't that one of those maturity things we "just get over?"

Self preservation. Defense mechanism. Freud, Erikson, Bandura, Vygotsky, Jung, Bronfenbrenner, pick one, there are a hundred different theories on the concept. But, we find ourselves back in those familiar situations that take us down and we have learned to think only of ourselves and our own feelings. Then, it's all about preserving our psyche. We don't want to hurt again.