Age - ed

What brings people together? What keeps them together? Beyond two individuals who come together to create and build a life together - marriage, what makes friendship? What is the bond that people find, nurture and sustain in true friendship?

Lots of things, you say. Age, location, resonance. Our society inculcates in us, from a very young age, the notion that all things in social friendships begin with age. You "hang-out" with kids "your age". You are grouped with kids "your age". You trade ideas, test out social behaviors and find out what is acceptable and what is not.

Then, we grow up. Some of us work, others get more education. And we discover that the rules of friendship, change. Support, resonance and bonding become far more important to our existence. Age, for most of us, takes a backseat.

We nurture friendships carefully, evolve and grow. And in times of real trial we find what true friendship is. The Mother who looses her loved one is surrounded by true friends, AFTER the funeral. The drug addict is held by true friends after they pick her up out of her own vomit and lovingly find help. The struggling Man who cries without restraint when floundering to save his marriage. The child whose hand is held firmly on the playground, shielded by a loving friend, from relentless bullies, regardless of their oddities. The playgroup that welcomes you back each week regardless of your unruly Offspring and endless verbal faux pas. The one or ones who look you in the eye and tell you your character flaws and love you in spite of them.

True friends love you, forever. And unlike family, they celebrate and lift you, when your family is far away, critical or just plain dysfunctional. You can't choose family, they stay because they have to. Friends stay because they want to.

So, is the age of those you call friend really the issue? It isn't for me. From the man whose snoring I endure almost nightly, to the 43 year old realist who teaches me unconditional love. The enthusiastic 13 year old who excitedly recalls his missteps and wants to sing show tunes with me, to the 59 year old who laughs at my foibles. The 19 year old who shares the same like and dislikes and watches marathons of our favorite T.V. shows until the wee hours of the morning, to the 40 year old who tells it like it is. The 23 year old perpetual optimist who teaches me about true honesty, and the 52 year old who inspires me to hold up my head. Friends I've known for years and some, just weeks. But you know when you meet them, you just...know.

All of them, are my true friends. They are honest with me. They tell me when I'm wrong and celebrate when I get it right. They cry when my heart breaks and cheer when I make it. They keep my secrets, without judgement, and I loving gaurd theirs.

I realize everyday that I am a veritable disaster, I know almost nothing and I make it up as I go, but my friends, they can't wait to hear and share. And twice, only twice, have I tragically lost a friend. (I'm still holding out hope, that's what Blondie tells me to do.) If I love you, my friend, you're stuck with me. Forever.