You're Ok, Just Do It My Way - One
I spent the better part of my day, yesterday, running my ass off. Up stairs, down stairs, elevators, boxes, tables, car loads, loading, unloading... As my sore backside, feet, shoulders and calves can attest, and having the most marvelous time doing it.
I helped with my first "Queer Prom" last night. It was, like any other prom, with one difference, EVERYONE was welcome and included. From the picture perfect straight couples to the fanciest drag queens. Trixy in his hat with peacock feathers, our quiet Train Girl in her STUNNING white tux with black pin stripes! There was Dieter, clean shaven and all slicked up, the SunDance Kid, who, by the way, took Queer Monarchy!! All 700+ of them. We started our adventures at 3:30 in the afternoon and I finally crawled between the sheets, a MOST happy and content MisAdventure, at 1:34 a.m.
I can't be in this world, (and by this world, I mean this world collectively, not just the GLBTQ community) and not be fascinated, awestruck, intrigued and humbled everyday. The amazing tenacity and color that people give to this world. From the "average all American" kids that I work with at our "Little Wave" to my "adopted kids". The Pseudonymous Hubby; so flexible and patient. My Offspring; only the smartest two Offspring I know. My Blondie; the most empathetic and giving boy that God gave this earth. My Dolly; the ever enduring optimist who can't wait to marry her guy. And most recently, My Little G.Q.; (she's gonna hate the "Little" reference, but she is....short. Heehee) the gentle, intelligent, keenly aware, gender neutral that teaches me what true acceptance is. I could list them endlessly, but, I let's face it, I've probably already lost poor Sally.
So, imagine my frustration as I read this, over coffee this morning.
He has a point. But, (oh that ever intrusive little word) read between the lines.
We are talking about people, not objects. People with lives, dreams and passions. People who take it upon themselves to speak for what they believe. The way they go about informing the world of what they believe may change absolutely nothing, except one thing, their sense of self.
"You're Ok, Just Do It My Way"
I helped with my first "Queer Prom" last night. It was, like any other prom, with one difference, EVERYONE was welcome and included. From the picture perfect straight couples to the fanciest drag queens. Trixy in his hat with peacock feathers, our quiet Train Girl in her STUNNING white tux with black pin stripes! There was Dieter, clean shaven and all slicked up, the SunDance Kid, who, by the way, took Queer Monarchy!! All 700+ of them. We started our adventures at 3:30 in the afternoon and I finally crawled between the sheets, a MOST happy and content MisAdventure, at 1:34 a.m.
I can't be in this world, (and by this world, I mean this world collectively, not just the GLBTQ community) and not be fascinated, awestruck, intrigued and humbled everyday. The amazing tenacity and color that people give to this world. From the "average all American" kids that I work with at our "Little Wave" to my "adopted kids". The Pseudonymous Hubby; so flexible and patient. My Offspring; only the smartest two Offspring I know. My Blondie; the most empathetic and giving boy that God gave this earth. My Dolly; the ever enduring optimist who can't wait to marry her guy. And most recently, My Little G.Q.; (she's gonna hate the "Little" reference, but she is....short. Heehee) the gentle, intelligent, keenly aware, gender neutral that teaches me what true acceptance is. I could list them endlessly, but, I let's face it, I've probably already lost poor Sally.
So, imagine my frustration as I read this, over coffee this morning.
Since "queer" has traditionally been a derogatory term, why have Williams and other gays and lesbians adopted it? Straights like me find it offensive. It reminds me of African Americans who use the n-word. Adopting a derogatory term is not healthy, nor does it help one's cause.
He has a point. But, (oh that ever intrusive little word) read between the lines.
The gay community needs to act with maturity and dignity as it fights for equal rights. That will lead to more respect and support than will attempts to shock.Really? According to who? And, by what definition? It may be that minority groups will garner more respect and support if they refrain from trying to make a point with "shock". It certainly doesn't compel me to listen to a group of animal rights activists when they stand on a corner with pictures of slaughtered animals. I've not the compunction to stand behind a "pro-life" advocate as they scream at clinic goers with pictures of aborted fetuses flying in a patrons face. Thus, you may not feel empathetic when your visual senses are accosted with a prancing fairy in his pink, sequined speedo shaking his stuff on a gay pride float. Yet, we all fail, myself included, to stop as see what is really going on.
We are talking about people, not objects. People with lives, dreams and passions. People who take it upon themselves to speak for what they believe. The way they go about informing the world of what they believe may change absolutely nothing, except one thing, their sense of self.
"You're Ok, Just Do It My Way"
posted by Molly Sue at
11:15 AM
4 Comments:
Hehehe... I commented on that article in the trib. The username I used is GQ88. Go look!
GQ
Girl - you kick ass!! I Love It!!!!
I got a dialog going!
GQ88 (Me): First of all, calling the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (LGBTQ) community the "gay community" is a commonly used often offensive phrase. Gay refers to a man who is spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually (etc.) attracted to other men, just like a lesbian is a woman who is spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually (etc.) attracted to other women. Is it not sexist to call the LGBTQ community the "gay community", putting men before all others?
Second, when you say that queer has "traditionally" been a derogatory term, I disagree. Queer "traditionally" means different, unusual or odd. Society took that word and applied it to a group of "odd" social outcasts - the LGBTQ community. Today, many people in this community have adopted the word queer as an umbrella term to represent the whole LGBTQ community. Many of the older members of the community still find it offensive and refuse to accept it. It's all personal preference. (To put this all in perspective for you, the well known song "Yankee Doodle" was used by the British as a derogatory song about the original 13 colonies - later to become the United States of America - and now we have adopted it and most children can sing along to it. Is that not what the LGBTQ community is doing too?)
My view of the word queer is simple. I love it. It doesn't have the constrictions of a gay man who can only date men or a lesbian who can only date women. It doesn't buy into the binary gender system like the word bisexual does. So what about all the people who don't want to be put into a box by sexual orientation labels? What stereotypes can anyone put on me when I tell them I'm queer? They have no idea what to think at that point. In a world where stereotypes run rampant and it's hard to get people to see beyond my labels and get to know me for me, the word queer is a relief.
JCSuperKolobstar: GQ88: you must be under 30...Gay did not mean just men it was an all inclusive term...people would define themselves as Gay men or Gay women... It was during the Lesbian separatist movement of the late 70's and early 80's where women wanted their own separate identity from men and adopted Lesbian and began identifying the word Gay to mean only men... they even began saying Lesbians and homosexuals like they weren't? It was during this time that "Gay" organizations began changing from the "Gay Student Unions" to "Lesbian and Gay Student Unions" and now "Queer Student Union".
The Lesbian separatists had issues with males "corrupting" their space so much so that male children were banned from Women Music Festivals... even today Utah has a "Dyke" March in conjunction with the Gay Pride Parade... so don't get so uppity about the word Gay being sexists when it was the 'ladies' (a hated anti-feminist word) who choose to break the Gay movement into it's segments.
In the early 1990's the National Lesbian Conference in Atlanta made political correctness the buzz word and began to promote 'bisexuality' as a part of Gay Liberation. In the late 1990's and early 2000's Transsexuals became the Lesbians newest cause and everything became LGBT and then Q for "questioning" and Gay became perjorative when Lesbians convinced everyone that it was a sexist term.
Learn a little history...
GQ88: JCSuperKolobstar: You're right. I am under 30. I'm 19. And I'll be the first to admit I'm not done learning the history of this specific civil rights movement.
What I do know, is that using a gender specific term to represent a community with people who are male, female, gender queer, transgender (etc.) is offensive to many people in the community. Myself included. Not only that, but the word homosexual is also offensive to many because of it's use in the DSM back when being LG(B?) was a mental disorder - much like being transgender still is (to a certain degree). It may not have been anything out of the norm 20-30 years ago, but it's 2008 now. Times are changing.
"Q" does stand for questioning. You're right. But a (less used) longer version of the acronym, LGBTQQA stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, and ally. In my use of the acronym, I choose to use the Q for queer along with many other people who see it as an important identity. Some people from older generations would disagree.
It's impressive that you know so much about what happened over the past 30 years. But tell me, what do you know about the rising generation of youth who will be the ones fighting for LGBTQ rights with a fresh view tomorrow? Is it not ageist to devalue their opinion because they aren't legally allowed to buy alcohol or rent a car?
Oh my little G.Q.!! You are amazing! I was so impressed with the way you handled the issue to begin with and I applaud you for keeping your cool when the responding individual attempted to "attack" without any knowledge of who you are and the information/education you have, even at such a young age.
As for the "history" aspect of the gay movement, I only recommend in-depth reading for those who suffer insomnia...interesting, but not fascinating. And the whole issue with language and words, I get the sense this individual is struggling with some feminist issues...I like to diffentiate them from actual feminists, we kindly call them "feminazis"...
Hope you don't mind, but you made me proud!!
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