I went with dilluted enthusiasum into extreme overdrive starting in May. I started school, remained on the Pool Board, homeschooled the children, babysat my beautiful baby two days a week, and started building a house. Building houses is a full time job. This particular house has evolved into two full time jobs. I peppered my evenings with voluteer work that I love to much to give up, so why not do that three days week. We tucked it in between the two nights that the Offspring have extra curricular activities. My insanity culminated Christmas Eve with service at church, singing in the choir. I awoke Christmas morning with a raging head ache. Think migrain with a twist, it ran down my neck to the back of my ear.
In all the frenzy, I have neglected my favorited past time, writing. And being that it's a new year, I'm making a hollow vow to be better at it, whatever. Life has slowed to a dull roar and I've got four minutes to process one of billion stories in my head. Sorry, it isn't the arrest story, but I will get to that.
It's this overdrive thing. As I lay curled on my couch in the middle of my happy place on earth, I wondered what it is we value. We, being Americans. This thought gets me off on my tangential side road, that asking the question is completely useless. When posed with the idea, Americans are notorious for giving the scripted answer. The "right" answer. And it bugs the hell out of me. What do you value? Because what you spew from your mouth is a load of crap.
Based on what you can SEE in my life, I'm as shallow as the next guy, so like I'm in position to cast stones. But in my heart, I value people. People are the top of my list. And unlike what most would feel in my material situation, my constant fear is what the motives of people are when I meet them. I current conclusion? I like dirt poor. I've yet to meet someone in a position of poverty that has any alterior motive other than human contact.
So, in brief, without covering many of the important details that lead me to this conclusion, that is what I value...humans. And more specifically, humans at peace with life, themselves and each other. I'll spare you the details of shallow, phony, glitter parties and power hungry yuppies.
The next time you're out, look around. Shop on the "wrong" side of town, smile at the "homeless" person, lose the fear of people you don't understand. Get out of overdrive and just live.
