Oh Ghawd!!

I consider myself a very non-squeamish person. I pick up worms, tarantulas, bugs and snakes. I have no problem with garbage, weird smells, spiders. Well, I've met my match.

This morning, while going over lessons with buck-buck #2, we had an encounter. Picture the warm cozy moment. Chilly morning, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, talking about what assignments need to get done before lunch. It's a good thing. Until he says to me, "Wow, Mom! Check that out!" he exclaims. "Look at that rat!"

Rat! Rat? Did you say rat? As in, Central Park Gopher? I turned to observe out my french doors, at the top of my stairs leading from that deck in the back yard, just that. A Central Park Gopher, MEANDERING, oh yes, meandering, as in; to move aimlessly and idly without fixed direction, across the soda pop boxes and casually climb down that side of the stairs to disappear under the deck between the stairs and the air conditioner. Oh My Ghawd! I dropped, DROPPED my coffee and climbed a chair.

I'm shaking. I'm having an anxiety attack. Oh my hell! It's fucking rodent. That likes garbage!! Oh my hell, I realize that my house is not the epitome of clean, but please! It's not that filthy.

Buck-Buck #1 is now giving me all the vital scientific information about these lovely creatures. (SARCASM!) He has informed me, that like gerbils, they can reproduce rather prolifically and that they have two uteruses. So they can be pregnant with a litter of up to 20! They have them 10 at a time, he tells me. I've informed him that his wealth of information is not currently helpful.

I think I'm going to pass out!

Deliberate Ignorance

Your first thought is that, being the obssesed home educator that I am, this is about education. Well, it's not. It's my articulated observance of strange human behavior.

We are given to this world at birth, and if we are fortunate we are continually surrounded by people who love us unconditionally. I say fortunate because in recent months I have witnessed the ability of the human species to be so subtley and yet so devestatingly cruel to the creatures that it is supposed to love the most.

Our society is bound up by rules. It is, in many respects what keeps us in a civilized state. We have a prescribed set of conduct code. How to treat each other and consequences for breaking the code. But we also have this strange arbitrary list of dos and don'ts most decidely set forth by the religious community. And when in violation of this particular code of conduct we exact strange retribution on our loved ones that can and is just what the title above says, a deliberate ignoring of the offender.

Take your pick of offenses. All of which is not illegal, but by and large deemed unethical and at the very least, disrespectful. In this particular case I am referring to infidelity.

We are creatures driven to pair off and told to be monogomous in such pairings. And when, for whatever psychological reasons, we break the social code, we metaphorically crucify the offender. When guilty of such offenses we can debate endlessly what drives an individual to such acts, but this isn't what I am watching. It's the offenders automatic assumption that they have commited a heinous sin and therefore, unlovable.

Some cheaters deserve the social outcasting that is bestowed upon them. By and large they are self-centered ass-hats that can't see beyond the end of their noses. In the context of which I speak, most would fit this bill. We have had a strange cluster of aquaintences recently admit to infidelity. But one case in particular was, without question a true moment of plain stupidity. And in an effort of martyrdom this indivdual has decided that, for whatever reason, they are no longer worthy, perhaps, of our love and forgivness. They are deliberatly ignoring us.

The difficulty is, that with the infidelity, while we long to love this person and accept them. We long to hold them and help them through a painful mistake, they deliberatley ignore us and it makes the it worse. Why, in an hour of need would one choose to assume that they just need to exact punishment on themselves? Is it just part of the lack of foresight and respect for loved ones? Or an inability to see that, regardless of the mistake, they are still loved.

I don't get. And my heart hurts. I wasn't even the cheated on. But I feel abandoned with the loved one. Lost in a state of confusion.

What are we doing to ourselves?

Love and Genius

Back in the swing of things in a home school envir-
onment sometimes means that your swing lags. Mine lags recently. I don't know that I want to read anymore about ancients. Hammurabi, Abraham, Isaac, Moses, Egyptians, Assyrians, Phoenicians, Babylonians. It's so entertaining some days, I can put my youngest to sleep. And when he drifts off to sleep I wonder, what's the point?

I recently ran into a good friend, they inquired what was new and how the children were doing. How was school and what were we studying. I rattled off the list above and the response I got was "Wow, your kids are going to be so smart because you home school!"

This made me think of two things, I realize that this is earth shattering, that I, as a stay at home Mother would have the capability to pull that off, the thinking thing. But hold onto your hat because I had more than one thought. See! I knew you would be impressed. It didn't even give me a headache.

My two thoughts are reoccurring. First, mainly because I am often questioned why I choose to home school, thus I do think about, on particularly shitty days, WTF possesses me to keep the offspring home. And when pressed, I admit that there are a multitude of reasons for keeping my children home for their education but when we read good literature and enjoy the conversation that it invokes, as I watch my youngest drift off to sleep because he is tired and no one is going to tell him that should do otherwise, I realize, unequivocally, the greatest reason that I keep the offspring home is because, I am their mother, their parent, I love them and I don't want to miss the moments.

The second thing I thought of after this comment of "they'll be so smart", was this. What does smart get you? I know smart. I know genius. I know gifted, real gifted, not just the "every child is gifted and has talents", but the real deal. It's a trait that runs in John Boy's family. And my children inherited it.

Now when I tell you that it runs in the family, that means that I know "genius" from old to young. And I wonder, what does it get you? I not only have family that are certifiable "genius" I also have friends who test in the "genius" range. And I wonder, what does it get you?

In our society we value intelligence. We admire those individuals that seem to posses that label of being smart. But, in my limited experience, it doesn't seem to gain these individuals anything more than a pat on the back. It certainly doesn't make them wealthy and it never makes them good at passing on their intelligence. In other words, they don't make good teachers. So, if I am smart enough to "teach" my children it isn't a guarantee that I can educate them.

Now for arguments sake, what if I am "stupid". Or, even better, ignorant. Does it them make me less qualified to teach my children at home? That's a hard sell for me personally. I attended college and I met a fair number of individuals who 1)Couldn't find their way out of a cardboard box, but somehow obtained that alluring piece of paper, a diploma, upon graduation and 2)a larger number of individuals who began their college careers pursuing a subject of choice, only to find that it was harder than what they were willing to invest the time for, and so fell back on what many of us do, teaching. What does this prove? That any monkey who jumps through the right hoops can get a degree and that there is some solid truth in the old adage, "Those who can do, those who can't, teach." Neither of which makes you smart or smart enough to pass your smarts onto another generation.

We obsess about "smartness" in the western world. We hover over our children, their education and their academics. Whether the school they attend will make them smart, get them into a good college and the good college into a good career. And if they are smart, well that just makes it easier for them, right? A shoe in for good grades, good schools and a high paying job. Right? Or does it?

Western society is not set up to nurture intelligent children and adults, not the way it dotes over athletes and sports figures. Especially outstanding ones. While we have the odd notable personality such as Albert Einstein, we also have many extremely intelligent people working in occupations that are considered among the lowliest, as may be attested by a review of the membership lists of Mensa (the club for the top two percent on intelligence scales).

Education systems in countries whose primary interest is in wealth accumulation encourage heroes in movies, war and sports, but not in intellectual development. Super intelligent people manage, but few reach the top of the business or social ladder. In classrooms, the smartest kids tend to be left out of more activities by other children than they are included in. They are "odd," they are the geeks, they are social outsiders. In other words, they do not develop socially as well as they may develop intellectually or even physically where opportunities may exist for more progress.

At the end of the day the smartest of our population are outcast, odd ball, geeks. People who get lost in the fray, generally have obscure occupations in low paying fields. They tend to suffer from low self-esteem, depression, A.D.D., A.D.H.D, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Bipolar Disorders and isolation. In many cases those of us who have smart children suffer the same problems as our children. How dare we try and make our children seem better than their peers, this isn't a one-up game! All children are smart and gifted. Yes, I am painfully aware and so I don't like to tell the world that my children are smart. The world will figure it out in due time.

Do you want to be smart? Will it make your academic life easier? Sure it will. Does it guarantee success and wealth? No.

Genius runs in the family and for the love of my smart children I will keep them home in the hopes that they can avoid the social downfalls of a high I.Q. Maybe they will even find a career in life that pays them enough money to enjoy some finer things. Ultimately, I want just one thing, their happiness.