DysFUNction

Are you related to me? Well, then you are part of the wonderful make-up of a psychiatrist dream of....the dysfunctional family. Oh to be a fly on the wall at every one of my family gatherings. Pick an individual we appear completely rational and normal, collectively we are an endless litany of FITH, (That's an affectionately coined acronym standing for...Fucked In The Head) We are a party.

It all begins in the lead up to Christmas. We start with, where we are all going to be for that time honored tradition of stuffing oneself with to much food. Mmm, American gluttony. And, depending on the year, we could be eating off of paper plates and drinking good egg nog or we might be crammed at a table with to much crap and decor, pretending to be intellectual sophisticates. Quite honestly I prefer the paper plates. I never was much for intellectual conversation. I don't think I'm smart enough to pull it off that major facade. And God knows my redneck, potato farming family sure the hell can't. Besides, they're more fun when they're normal anyway. Uhhh, mostly.

After being miserable with each other, while pretending to thoroughly enjoy the company, we move on to Christmas. Wa-hoo.....Now, you need to understand that, the majority of my family and in-laws are quite fun. People with colorful, casual personalities that are nice to be around. And then, we have the one or two that I would like to throttle on a regular basis. Your perpetual stick in the mud that sees the world in a definitive black and white. Currier and Ives. Norman Rockwell. You get the point. These enthusiastic individuals think that the world really is made up of idyllic, picturesque, Americana Art. Fuckin' Rockwell. What delusion did that man grow up in? 'Cause the world, it doesn't work that way.

(This was worth the night, don't you think?)

Christmas Eve was a wonder filled event with music and scripture and meaningful, tear-jerking stories of triumph. Blech! Please spare me the spiritual rhetoric. Jesus himself would fall asleep in the boredom. My only reprieve was a room full of people in the same quantity of pain. Thank heaven we don't care if we "ruin" it all. Some of mimicked Pavarotti in every song, some of us 'slept' and some of us, (not me surprisingly) actually dropped the 'f' bomb in frustration. Now that, is a family get together. Rife with no one who listens or cooperates! Humor people, it is the essence of life. And this year, most of my family has finally jumped on the band wagon. We have a few wayfaring souls, but hey, peer pressure and sheer numbers are on our side.

Do I sound bitter? Please, until I sat down to relay this adventure, I was in a stellar mood. The holidays were abundant. And I don't mean with material overload. I mean the good stuff. Time with good people that I cherish. Even the sticks-in-the-mud. But as I taxied some of them home on a blizzardy night, I thought to myself, 'No wonder I wanted to grow up!!!!!' The world is packed with control freaks and the rest of us are systematically poking our eyes out. I think next year I'll give the freaks a tooth brush and can of comet. They'll know what to do. And the consumption of time that is takes to complete their task will surely keep them from dampering the festivities that the rest of us make up as we go.

Ho ho ho and Happy New Year! Time to catalog the 52 weeks of MisAdventure. Our hero is headed back to "As the Pool Waves" and better still, she's gonna build a house. Oh, we are so set up for unintended catastrophe. I can feel it. I see the return of our virulent vigilante, ohohoh uhuhuh, we can call her Vera!!! (Forgive me Blondie, I couldn't help it) And I see contractors in my future, ha ha ha!! God will be checking my sense of humor. I wonder if I should start packing heat?

I Resemble That Remark....

Are You Game?

Remember the game, "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon"? The object of the game was to name a movie or television actor and get back to Kevin Bacon in 6 steps or less.

This morning while trolling the Internet of various blogs that I love, I came across this.... An old friend of my brother's and his wife. The baby in the picture is the newest edition to her sister's family, a girl that I grew up with and attended high school with. Did you catch that line? The blog belongs to my brother's friend. The picture you see is the sister of the friend. I went to high school with the sister. OK, clear as mud! Look at her husband...notice anything slightly familiar about the face? The last name?

Holy Crap! It's six degrees of Mitt!! Wouldn't it be a scream if he won the Republican ticket and I voted for him? We can at least agree that he's a better choice than Hillary. Blech!! But maybe not as great as Obama.

Well, in any case, he has a new grand baby. I'm kinda partial to the name too.

Long Winded

Bare with me, I've been long winded lately. The following two posts may get lost because I had a lot of hot air to blow.

Visit the next page, too! My friend over at the Simmon's Family seemed entertained! Hahahahahah!

Are You Christian? Part Duex

I've asked the question. And....no one can really give me a sufficient answer. Thus far, we are so wrapped up in what "it" is and how it applies to our lives and, in truly long winded moments, how it is similar and cohesive with other world view/religions, that, I have failed miserably to get a sufficient answer. It's a simple question. Are....You....Christian? (Cart blanch, you can define it as you will, for our purposes we will call it those who believe in Christ. Period.) AAAAAnnnd, WHY do you believe that you are Christian? In this case the more important aspect is the WHY?

We all have beliefs. But, the majority of us really don't know WHY. No, seriously, we don't. What we know is the rhetoric that has been spewed at us since birth. And some of us have had volumes of it spat at us. Within than voluminous amount of rhetoric there fails to be a small but important aspect. Critical thinking and counter argument. We generally get only one side. In most cases that one side is filtered and white washed for our listening and viewing pleasure.

Christianity is a sticking point in this country. Whether a true sticking point or conjured for our sensationalistic media appetites, it is a sticking point. We are stuck under the fallacy that this country was founded on Christian "principles". That the authors of the Constitution were themselves, Christian. No. No. No. No, and again, no. And, they did not dream of the Christian right taking the reigns and dictating the moral majority for the rest of us. NO!! They didn't. And, like some of us, they didn't believe that morality and ethics were and can only be driven by religion. In this case the "right" religion.

Mitt Romney felt it important to state his "beliefs" on December 6, in order to appease the Christian right and clear up the media frenzy of crap about Mormons and Mormonism. There is a laundry list in the speech that bugs me. Oh well, it doesn't apply to politics. Just to his religion and for those of us in or with a history in the religion, we're the only ones who "get it".

Romney did say that "Freedom requires religion." What?!?! Hmmm, so, to be free we need religion. And I suppose in this case we need Christianity or better still, Mormonism? I'm not going to have any hair by the time the primaries roll around. This is getting ridiculous. Where's my fuckin wand! Last time I checked I didn't need religion for a moral compass and high integrity. And good values, ethics and high morals seem far more important to lead us in a free society. Which allows us to be....free! Than what religion you subscribe to.

The fact that he stated this as a Christian and a Mormon fries my butt! It translates very simply to, "You need religion to be free and I'm Christian so you need Christianity, to be free." Ay, yih, yih! Does anyone know their Roman history? Ladies and Gentlemen, we're screwed.

I agree with Richard J. Rosendall:

With all due thanks, I feel free to say that the former governor's statement is absolute rubbish. Organized religion has a long, bloody history of being an enemy of freedom. Granted, it depends on what the meaning of "freedom" is. Romney's version of the First Amendment, like that of Democrat Joe Lieberman before him, says that we are guaranteed freedom OF religion, not freedom FROM religion.

So, we get the freedom to choose which religion it is that we practice, or don't. But we are still stuck with our neighbors questionable religious practices. As long as they don't infringe upon our right. And, if the next President is religious, fabulous. But, it does NOT make him/her more righteous, honest, ethical or moral. I don't have room to list examples. Some of whom are in my own family tree!!Scandalous!!

David Brooks of the New York Times fired back on December 7th,

"In Romney's account, faith ends up as wishy-washy as the most New Age-y secularism. In arguing that the faithful are brothers in a common struggle, Romney insisted that all religions share an equal devotion to all good things. Really? Then, why not choose the one with the prettiest buildings?"

Rosendall ties it beautifully for me...Laugh at the end of the first paragraph, IT'S FUNNY!!

The GOP candidate follies are the Bush-Rove strategy come home to roost. The desperation and disconnect of the religious right’s war on popular culture is illustrated by recent attacks against The Golden Compass, a movie based on the first volume of Philip Pullman’s fantasy trilogy, His Dark Materials. Catholic League president Bill Donahue states, “This is pernicious. This is selling atheism to kids, and it’s doing it in a backdoor fashion.” Considering Donahue’s assertions that the sexual abuse of children by priests was not done by pedophiles but by homosexuals, he knows all about backdoor attacks.

That fantasy literature can provoke such fury from the religious bullies shows their fear of the imagination—which is fear of freedom. Pullman responded on Nov. 2, “I prefer to trust the reader.... As for the atheism, it doesn’t matter to me whether people believe in God or not, so I’m not promoting anything of that sort. What I do care about is whether people are cruel or whether they’re kind, whether they act for democracy or for tyranny, whether they believe in open-minded enquiry or in shutting the freedom of thought and expression.”

We should not let exasperation at right-wing excesses prompt us to throw out the religious baby with the fundamentalist bathwater. For one thing, champions of liberty ought to show more tolerance than the fundies. For another, many secularists are religious. I was reminded of this on Dec. 6 at the home of Pastor John Wimberly of DC’s Western Presbyterian Church, who hosted an ACLU discussion of liberty and security. When we accept the theocrats’ characterization of secularism as hatred of religion, we concede more than they deserve.

I don't NEED religion to tell me what is right, wrong or necessary. I CHOOSE to have a religious philosophy, but it doesn't guarantee that I am honest and ethical. If you have "it", great. Pat yourself on the back. But, do not tell me that in the course of human events, it makes it mandatory for me or, the leader of this country. Or true, or right or necessary...BuuuullllShhhiiit!!!

As you near the end of my rant, your thought may be, "how dare she attack religion!". Ah Yes, that bastion of virtuosity...(note the heavy hint of sarcasm.) Bertrand Russell, in "Why I Am Not Christian", let's us know, that the truth hurts.

One is so often told that it is a very wrong thing to attack religion, because religion makes men virtuous. So I am told; I have not noticed it....

You find as you look around the world that every single bit of progress in humane feeling, every improvement in the criminal law, every step toward the diminution of war, every step toward better treatment of the colored races, or every mitigation of slavery, every moral progress that there has been in the world, has been consistently opposed by the organized churches of the world...

My own view on religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race. I can not, however, deny that it has made some contributions to civilization. It helped in early days to fix the calendar, and it caused Egyptian priests to chronicle eclipses with such care that in time they became able to predict them. These two services I am prepared to acknowledge, but I do not know of any others.

Social Mores

We are amidst the season folks. It is that time of year that we venture into public, some of us against our better judgement, to obtain that perfect material indulgence that our loved one can not live without.

I am, when it comes to the gift giving/receiving aspect of Christmas, a major Scrooge. With a capital Bah-Hum-bug. It boils down to me busting my ass to invest money in something that amounts to foreign crap! And when the day is over, it's not as if most of us can spare the change for what we end up purchasing. We all end up with the obnoxious applique that our beloved, pain-in-the-ass, in-law spends money they don't have, on. And we are, STUCK with it.

I know, I know, it's the thought that counts. But in some cases, there is no thought. And worse, I have to brave some of the morons that make the same shopping forays as myself. Please, it is the season! Gotta buy, buy, buy. Stuff, stuff, stuff!

Case in point.....T.J. Maxx. I reported recently on the innocent "fluff" emitted by an sweet elderly gentlemen as we exited dress-up church. Ha ha, funny. Standing in line to pay for our purchases recently at T.J. Maxx, my ears were perked when a strange but somehow familiar sound pierced the air. What could it be? Somehow I knew the sound. Oh, wait, I know. I hear it in my kitchen when my Offspring assault each other with flatulence and giggle at the sound that they can reverberate off my kitchen chairs!! They find that if they lean just right the sound emanates outward and is amplified off the chair and echos in the room thanks to my hardwood floors. Funny? When you're six. When you're in your 50's? In a crowded department store? Eh, not so much. I did have the inclination to giggle until I got a glimpse of the perpetrator. Talking on her cell phone to what sounded like a high school child she needed to pick up in few minutes. She actually leaned over in the chair she was sitting in a grunted it out. GRUNTED IT OUT!! Are you fucking kidding me?! Seriously!

That was, topped only by tonight's encounter. As I wandered the isles at the grocery store with my husband. We encountered a small crowd in front of us. Mangey, disgustingly dressed and looking rather unkempt your thought might have been that they were, well, homeless. But no, the attire was completely deliberate. Adorned with horrible tattoos (I like tattoos, but please put some effort into it) and bra less in tank tops I could only wonder...What the hell? (It is winter after all, it's COLD outside!) Until one so eloquently glanced over her shoulder and pulled her pants a little lower for us to catch a glimpse not only of her muffin top, Oh Ghawd, but her lovey, pink, leopard print THONG!! She appeared to think nothing of this and even seem to hope that it was, mmmm, sexy?

Look, I pride myself on being able to see the humor in humans. In the things we do and say without thinking. I excel at putting my foot in my mouth. Therefore, I understand that we all do things, especially in public, that will be, well, uncouth. But, why oh why, in a crowd of holiday shoppers would the latter two stories be anything but inappropriate. Manners people, we had them at some point in our lives, what the hell happen to them?

Don't Encourage Her!

We all have a secret need to acquire positive attention. When we fail, we tend to seek whatever the hell we can get.

I sometimes wonder then, why we, the observers, continue to dish it, the attention, when we are appalled at the behavior. Shut up already and let the bitch drown. Or get buried alive in the hole she be diggin' for herself.

High maintenance people irritate me. Maybe because I can be one on occasion. But please, cut the crap, drop the 'tude and admit you are just like the rest of us. Plain, boring, v-a-n-i-l-l-a. We all want drama, we all want to think that our lives are filled with unenviable stress that no one else could handle, that somehow we are just innocent victims in some pawn game and we are not to blame for our actions. That we are sooooo picked on.

Hmmm, as a former acquaintance once yelled so eloquently at me, WTF!?! As if that HM crabby bitch needs the fuel.

Stand up cowgirl. Because quite frankly you are nothing but a whining, patronizing, self-righteous, self-absorbed, self-centered ego-maniac! And that cowboy that is bustin' himself for you? Well, if the rest of us have anything to say or do about it, he won't be yours for long....

Christmas Is Coming!

Hey Blondie! Thanks for the enthusiasum! You've given me a renewed excitement for the season this year and I love you for it!

Mmmm, Secrets

I have secrets. Things that I don't like people to know, or at least remind me of. And I have recently been indulging in some of those secrets.

Growing up I had a handful of passions. Things that I could waste time on forever. I say "waste" time because they didn't seem to be activities that were particularly productive. I love to "set up" house. I would spend hours designing and arranging the perfect house with my blocks. I loved to hide in my bedroom and sing. And sing and sing and sing and perform and sing. Indulging in that particular passion in public was and still, is NOT an option. I would never presume to put anyone through that kind of pain. I also loved to read. I would dream of the places I could escape to and the stories and characters that I could create. I have volumes that I wrote in my journal. One, I actually put on paper at the urging of a professor. Although no one ever read it.

I hid my story and my singing in my little world and grew up. This summer I got to go L.A. and see the musical "Wicked". I resonated all to well with both the main characters in the play. I came home singing the soundtrack and made a bold move, I arranged to have voice lessons again. Which I am loving. I can indulge in my passion and no one has to listen. Well, almost no one.

Yesterday, I was clearing out file drawers and I found my story. Wow, the story was a little prophetic. Who knew I would actually live part of it. Let's hope the ending doesn't come to fruition though.

And then we come to my newest secret, a tattoo. I was always fascinated by tattoos. Why would someone put art on their body and what would make them passionate enough about it to make that art permanent. I loved to look at tattoos, especially colored ones. I never entertained the thought of one because I never had anything that I was so passionate about that I would stick it on my skin. Well, never say never. Oh dear, one more thing that my poor mother will just have to "get over". The book jacket at the top of the post has the picture I want on my foot. I'm jazzed!! Oh, and the book is a good read too!!

As The Pool Waves

Let's go for a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Remember this place? "Memories, like the corners of my mind....."

We had our cast of characters. (They're still around) We even have some new ones. If you know me, and most of you who frequent this sight do, then you know who those characters are! Because, they weren't added to our weekly adventures.....Oh the Soap Opera we could write. My part would be Nancy Botwin, or, depending on your point of view, Mrs. Robinson. Mmmmm, in some cases, for a short period of time, I was Karen. I've recently lost my sidekick, Jack, though (think "Will&Grace"). Like I said, if you know me, you get the references. And you know that this summer was the ultimate in d-r-a-m-a, drama. Even that dog in the picture played a role! Haha!

Life has thankfully, slowed down. Boring is good. Now, based on my tendency to bitch, don't look so shocked, I know you can't believe I'm admitting it. But, I digress, the chicken caught my eye, damn A.D.D., you would tend to believe that I don't like some of those people that I worked with on the Pool Board. On the contrary, I like them, I just don't want party with them. And, because I am GaLinda, I waved my magic wand and I was popular by the end of the summer.

You will recall that one of our illustrious board members was dear Edith. Edith Enthusiastic. Picture Edith from "All In The Family", just better looking. Well, our dear Edith saw fit to reproduce, again. What possess some people to do this, I will never know! But, she did, and I got to see the little bugger. Good thing he's cute. And, again, if you know me, I'm jealous as hell. I was very GaLinda though, I took her a baby gift. "I know....that's what makes me so nice."

Heroes, Heroines and Role Models

I recently joined MySpace at the urging of some sweet loved ones. Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, you are also correct on the second thought, I am TO OLD to be on MySpace.

In the course of filling out my profile I was asked some questions about myself to share with the world. Favorites of everything of course, my heroes (I'm partial to heroines) and other miscellaneous crap. Well, all I can say is, at least I'm consistent.

My favorite movie? Fried Green Tomatoes, Indian Summer
My favorite T.V. show? Weeds (I have others, but...)
My Heroine? Nancy Botwin...(The main character in Weeds)

Well, in reviewing this information it would seem that I have some really sick wants and habits. Be assured, I still (thankfully) have my husband, I am not a widow. I don't, nor would I ever, sell "weed". And, I would have to say that at no point would I find it necessary to be, as promiscuous as my heroine. I do, however, want Mary Loise's legs, skin, hips and hair. And I do resemble/relate to some of the moments her character has in Weeds. I have two boys, I drink way to much coffee/lattes (yes, I do chew on the straw), I like to drink wine and I have moments of desperation that in hindsight? Are the comedy that makes life B-E-A-utiful!!

Oooo! What's Wrong With This Picture?

GaLinda has her wand and she's asking you to..."Laugh!! It's Funny!"

GaLiiiiinda Moment

I met someone! What a gal! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooo
oohhhh, uh uh uh! (Picture the ridiculous dance across the room. You can include the pink dress if it suits you)

Some time ago, while perusing the Internet, I encoun-
tered a woman's blog. She lived at the southern end of my home state. This was, completely coincidental. I stopped at her blog because she had pictures of her baby posted online and he was cute, damn cute. She had a list of 'friends' on her blog, and being that she was in Utah, I decided to see where it led me.

I came upon a spot with pictures of cute little blond girls with new crocs. I hate crocs. Well, except on children under the age of 6. And who could resist the little blonds playing with the hose in their backyard with new crocs on.

I was not only caught by the children but by the shots from the backyard. I recognized the "area" if you will. These little people were not far from the city that I lived in. So, I bookmarked it and began to frequent the site. Leaving the occasional comment here and there.

Sure enough, the author of the blog and mother of the little girls began to comment on my little spot in the world. Now, being that I am an opinionated, crass, foul mouthed individual and she, appeared to be a nice, warm hearted Mormon, it seemed, odd that she would continue to frequent my little vent vehicle. As if I have anything profound to say. Pllleaase, only the most narcissistic of us has one of these infernal website called a blog. As if the events in our lives constitute quality reading for the American public. We'd like to think we're all J.K Rowling. I don't think so. But, be that as it may, I write and she comments.

So, I got it in my head that, being that she was the only person who commented that I didn't know in real life, I thought it was high time I met the girl. Let's face it, I am nosy. And her picture? Unbelievable. Seriously, who looks like that in real life. It had to be a staged photo.
Well, I got to meet her. Wow! You know...they say that meeting people off the Internet is risky. They can make up who they are and what they do and what they look like etc, etc., etc. Not to mention that's how some of my family met their spouses. Risky I tell you, risky. But, I propositioned her anyway. What the hell, she seemed harmless enough. How scary could a sweet Mormon mother of two be?
Pretty damn sweet! I finally got to meet her. A quick lunch turned into two and half hours. And I wasn't ready for it to be done. It was like catching up with an old friend. I was like a giddy teen walking out of lunch, I had a new old friend. (Confidentially, if picking a religion were all about the people and not the doctrine, well, based on this girl, you could sign me up! I'm up to at least 6 friends like this now, whoo, we could make a ward! Wink, wink) I left the restaurant and called everyone I knew! They were relieved to know that she was NOT an axe murderer and she would fit right into our quirky little "playgroup".

Oh, and the picture, yeah, she looks like that. In real life. Bitch. No one should look that good. Fricken gorgeous. Good thing she's genuine to the core, I'd of left with a complex, instead of a friend. (Enjoy Vegas by the way!!)

That's What FRIENDS Are For

I recently vented about growing up and not being popular with everyone. Having so called "friends" decide for random, inexplicable reasons, that they can't be your friend. While I understand in my head that this is the behavior of immature people who never grew up, well, it still stings in my heart.

Whether we like to admit or not, it hurts to be dumped. And we girls take it pretty hard. It can be as bad as loosing a boyfriend. Sometimes worse. We obsess and analyze and try to figure out what went wrong. What could I have said, or done, or gestured or implied differently? How can I amend my wrong doing? Please, I know we just need to get over it, but it isn't going to happen. We are girls after all. We want to appeal to even the shallow of individuals. We want to be? Popular.


It then happen, coincidentally, that as I am struggling through my recent dumping, one of my best friends called to tell me a similar story. She was hurt and devastated and thoroughly confused.



Well, in sharing our feelings about friends we concluded, that the real ones love you like family. That is, regardless of your faults and flaws. So, to you my friend. And the friends we share,(you all look mawvelous in photo by the way!), who love and take care of you, for me, when I live so far away and can not be there everyday. I love you all. Thank you for loving each other just the way you are. Without condition! And thank you for taking care of my friend so far away from me.

The Religious Bugger

I frequent the blog of "Atlantic" journalist, Andrew Sullivan. He and his media colleagues are fabulous observers. They are also, currently, obsessed with Mitt Romney. For many of the same reasons that the rest of us and the nation are. The following is just one of many discussions that I've found intriguing.....

Ross argues

As an outside observer, it seems to me that Mormonism has a divided soul - there's a yearning for acceptance within the firmament of Christianity (and a hint of self-pity concerning other Christians' unwillingness to welcome them with open arms), combined with a pride in everything that makes the Latter-Day Saints unique. I'm inclined to think the latter is the healthier sentiment for members of a young and rising faith. Attention, and the hostility that comes with it, is the price of being a successful religion, as the larger history of Christianity's rise attests: You don't see Christopher Hitchens writing polemics against the Mithraists or the cult of Isis, after all

Here's the rub for Romney in the newest pew pole:

The group of Americans most likely to say they value religiosity in a president - white evangelical Protestants - is also the group most apt to be bothered by his religion.

More than one-in-three evangelical Republicans (36%) expressed reservations about voting for a Mormon, a level of opposition much higher than that seen among the electorate overall.

Bummer for Hewitt. David Kuo laments;

We are spending way too much time talking about theological nuances when we should be talking about legal and political and financial nuances. We are a country in a little bit of a stink right now and what we need are effective and impressive (but mostly effective) administrators in elective office. We don't need to know much about their thoughts on this or that theological issue.

In so many ways, I couldn't have expressed it better myself. Check out the rest dating back to at far as July of '07. Andrew is my kind of writer. Say what you think, with tact. But say it, cause lord knows we're all thinking it.

Well Intentioned

I've lived in my neighborhood for almost a decade. I have wonderful neighbors. Conservative, Mormon. You understand.

I have, over the years aloud my sweet neighbors to some "visit teach" and "home teach" and even, on occasion, let my children attend Primary "parties". If you're of the persuasion, that all made perfect sense. If not, well, seems you need to read up on some religion.

A few months ago one of my neighbors was "called" to be in the Relief Society presidency. I don't attend Mormon church, I'm Unitarian, so how, you ask, would I know this? Keep your panties on, I'm getting there. Hm Hm, they, the Relief Society "presidency", showed up at my door. They were on a fact finding mission. New ward, new people. Mmm, right.

I was quickly introduced to the newcomers and they made themselves at home. I was given visiting teachers, asked what my talents were and what would I be interested in. Interested in? Nothing really. Well, when dealing with enthusiastic Relief Society women, nothing, is not an answer. It's an invitation.

A week later when my new visiting teachers arrived, my neighbors, coincidentally, they immediately invited me to Enrichment Night. Once again, if you are behind on explanations, go look it up. Catch up, will ya!

I squirmed, told them I was busy, told them John Boy was out of town. I even told them I was Unitarian. Not to be deterred they just told me they would pick me up! It would be fun! Did they miss the part where I was declared heathen? I did say Unitarian. In some circles that's akin to communism. We are those gay loving, liberal, tree huggers.

Oh. Fun. Ok. Eek, oh dear! I need to learn that one little word, NO! Why is it so much easier to tell off my family? You know, it's the Galinda in me...."It's what makes me so nice."

Well, I went. And, if you must know, I lived to tell about it. It wasn't earth shattering. Nothing has changed in 15 years. NOTHING!! Except that, those girls in my neighborhood that I went to high school with? Uhh, do I look that old? Lord help me. Next thing you know they'll want me to dress up on Sunday....

Voice Of Reason

I couldn't have said, or gestured it, better myself. LAUGH, damn-it, it's funny!

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I don't think I need to explain. It really needs no commentary. Only to say that it was posted in a very dignified and stately area of Charleston. This is my kind of people!

Got Gas?!

We attend church on regular basis. Our concept of worship is different than most, though. Where we go, the emphasis is on Humanity, and what you wear isn't an issue. This is a plus for the Offspring.

Sunday my nephew was given a blessing. It's a nice idea. Mormons like to do it and I certainly see nothing wrong with it. But, it is necessary to "dress up" in "church clothes" when attending and LDS meeting. So I stuffed the Offspring in what I had, which wasn't much, away we went. My nephew is worth it though.

Well, we came, we saw, we left the building. In a hurry. We heathens didn't want to cause any structural damage. The blessing was sweet. My brother is soooo excited to be a Dad. And my sister-in-law is amazing!! They have both blown me away. Above and beyond every expectation. What a team!! But, my tangential personality is getting the best of me, we were fleeing the scene after the blessing to avoid any structural damage to the building.

We headed for the door as the music began, to bring in the sacrament. The doors were being shut and an older gentlemen, with a walker, stood up in front of us. He was also headed for the door to get out before the music ended. We gave him the room, because, well, he was old and cute and moving slow. Well, sometimes etiquette can get the better of you. He stood up and pushed that walker and it was obviously more than his stomach muscles could handle. He gifted us with a more than little "toot, toot", to say "hello". (Well, "hello" indeed....giggle, snort!!)

Buck-buck #1 looked at me with his eyes as big as saucers and started to GRIN!! All I could do was to muster one of those parental "looks" and hurry down the hall. Out the door we went. It was a movie moment, we stopped at a retaining wall we laughed and giggled so hard we had to use the wall to brace ourselves. Needless to say, it took a minute to make it to the car.

Oh, the beauty of life. I wanted to run back and hug the fella. My Mother would be horrified, but it was such a great moment in such a "formal" setting. It made dress up church worth the effort.