Judgement

Are you judgmental? Think about it. Are you a moralist? Think hard.

Moralist. Jungemental. Two words that often incur negative connotations. Judgemental people are shallow. Narrow minded. Self righteous. Yes, absolutely, right? Moralists? Oh those are the right wing Christian conservatives who want to legislate all the social morals that they believe we neglect. They're looking out for our salvation. For our own good. Right?

Do you smoke? Do you have any concerns about others who do? What do you think of someone driving on the freeway with a car full of kids and cigarette in their hand? A cell phone? Are you better than them? Do you have the twinge of righteous indignation because you DON'T smoke or talk on the cell phone while driving? Are you "offended" when you see someone light up a cigarette near you? Does this violate your "health" rights?

Do you exercise regularly? Why? Who told you? What do you really think when you see someone that you would deem "overweight?" Are you better than them? What do you think of them when the are at McDonald's in front of you?

Did you go to college? Did you get a degree? Does it make you smarter? More capable? More employable? Entitled to a better salary? Are you better than your neighbor, who has only his high school diploma? Are you better than them?

Are you religious? Is your activity in that religion, your belief, your faith required for your salvation? Is yours more intact than your non-religious neighbor? Is your religion superior to other religions? Are you better than them?

How do feel about abortion? Homosexuality? Birth control? Environmental issues? Evolution? Chances are on a survey, a questionnaire and certainly to another's face you would look at them and genuflect on the "morality" of each issue. Whether or not you felt that it was your duty, or even your right, to impose rules on those that would, according to you, cause harm to themselves or to others. Right? You would tell us that it isn't your place to pass judgement. It isn't fair to tell people what to do. It isn't fair to force them to do what you deem right, right?

But, what went through the recesses of your mind when you read those questions? What were you really saying, as opposed to what you told the public? Are you honest with us? Are you honest with yourself? My guess is, you don't want anyone to know. I know I don't. Sometimes, I'm am judgemental. Sometimes, I am a moralist. Guess I have a little work to do. We are becoming a nation of moralist. We are vilifying large numbers of people for what was considered a bad habit in the past. Smoking, obesity, any number of things. Bad for our health? Yes. But is it our DUTY to police each other? Hmmmm. I wonder.

As the Pool Waves

Remember that little Wave from hell that I frequent in the Summer? OoooKay, it may be from hell,on occasion, but I've gained some of the most wonderful children in this world due to that wave and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Remember our dear Dolly? We began our little soap opera 3 years ago with Daisy the manager,(who now has offspring, holy cow! And they're cute too!!) Dot, our spunky little desk girl and Dolly the quiet sidekick of Dot. (Think Animainiacs, Dot, with the flower and the attitude.)



Oh, but wait, Dot seems to be taking over, ha ha, is anyone shocked....Add our small cast of quiet lifeguards and there you have it. We still hear from Blondie, Lover Boy, and of course, The Jetts. (I can't wait for you people to figure out which names go with which kid, hahaha.)

Blondie is, well, he's just Blondie. Ever optimistic, playing the dumb blond (don't let him fool you, he's rather observant, thoughtful and smart, hmmmm.)Lover Boy, brooding, quiet, a man of few words. They're both in school and will hopefully graduate and find spouses and careers in the distant future.

One of The Jetts is finding her way in the great northwest. Eyeing the Space Needle every morning on her way to work. The other is working at the education thing and contemplating Europe this summer. Huh? She doesn't want to work at The Wave? What the hell?

Dot has, unfortunately, ditched the flower and picked up a mic. Ann Curry, eat your heart out! And watch your back, cause here she comes!! You can catch our beautiful Dot every weekend doing the weather and small features for the local station in St. George, Ut.

But, I'm getting lost. Not that I'm tangential in any way....We were talking about Dolly. It's easy to loose her, she doesn't say much until you get to know her. And then, ha ha, she's a woman after my own heart. Assertive, opinionated and articulate. Go Dolly!! To add to her repertoire, she's getting married! (Did you hear the record needle scratch to a stop and the crickets in the room?)

Beautiful, fabulous Dolly. My future public defender for the down and out. (Look out TaWanda, she'll eat you for lunch in a courtroom....)She's stared down the barrel of a loaded gun (brain tumor) and the Lord feels strongly that she's not done learning on this earth, or teaching. So, she's put law school on hold (let's hope not for too long, I want to see her crush TaWanda!!!) and she's getting married. I'm excited, elated, emotional and all those Mother things wrapped up in one twitterpated package. We party in May and I can't wait!! I will be a blubbering mess because she is one of my "kids". But, I promise that I won't wear fringe, wink, wink!!

Miss Dolly stopped by my house recently and we got to chat. When she left, I had a moment. A Mom moment. I hope she doesn't mind how proud I am. I am proud to call her friend. I am proud of the decisions she is making. I am proud of the human that she is evolving into. Kudos Miss Dolly.

Assertive, Not Bitchy

We teach our children to be polite, compliant individuals. And then we are shocked when they grow up without an opinion. Without a spine!! Or, that they may grow up decidedly to the contrary.

I have, in recent years, encouraged my very high maintenance, vocal, niece that we should strive to be assertive, not bitchy. Ha ha, funny. But, I'm serious. I think all of us, especially girls in this society, should buck society and the system. Assertive, not bitchy. You know, well behaved women rarely make history. I was recently delighted to hear a case of assertive behavior that evoked a standing cheer of ovation from me. I say, "Annie, get your guns!"

Annie is the 14 year old daughter of a dear friend of mine, who is an intelligent, gifted, opinionated, vocal young lady that recently has put her parents into fits of frustrations because, surprise, surprise, they don't see eye to eye. (Shocking isn't it? A teenager who butts heads with her parents?) She has, of late, been enrolled in three different educational options. First, they tried home schooling, then a charter school and finally a local public school. So the latter may not have been the best of options, but hey, when it comes to our children, we sometimes will do desperate things in order to provide them happiness in the world. I know from experience that this particular couple truly wants nothing else for their children but a healthy, happy, productive life. Please, if I had had it as good as this girl when I was her age, Lord knows that I would have found my teenage years far more tolerable. Well, maybe at home, high school was still a bitch!! Fuckin' popular people. But, I digress, as I was attempting to say, perhaps I would have been easier to placate. Hmmm, note to self, 101 things I need to add to my 'parent do' list.

Matt is a friend of Annie's. He tends to be an exuberant and over enthusiastic boy. You know the type. They begin a systematic, unrelenting phase of torturous teasing at about the age of 5, and we delude ourselves into thinking that it's "just a phase". When will we get the message (when they are 30 and still at it) that it's sooo not a phase. Over the course of a day, depending on the day of the month, Matt has a way of pushing all the right buttons, repeatedly, with Annie. Get her the week that "Aunt Flow" is in town for a visit and you are messing with fire! But, we don't expect most Jr. High boys to have gripped any kind of clue when it comes to the female species. Oh, whoops, do they ever? The poking session began in first period. To which Annie attempted to convey to Matt, that she was NOT in the mood. Matt couldn't let it go. If this had been the first incident with this boy, well, perhaps she could have seen fit to 'turn the other cheek'. Or maybe Matt needs to meet his father's palm.

By the time Annie reached second period English with Mrs. Andrews, Annie was making vain attempts to ignore Matt. To exacerbate the situation, our "funny" little friend happen to sit within close proximity to Annie. There is only so much that a human being can take. I know, MisAdventure went to school with jack asses like Matt. It looks cute to start with, it just doesn't end that way. When our little friend, Matt, resorted to calling Annie a "piece of crap", (Come on, couldn't you be a little more creative boy?) Well, Matt had it coming and Matt got it, right across the cheek. Loud enough that it was audible to the teacher. Now, Ms. Molly would have been reduced to tears, but not our sweet Annie. She just let him have it with the inside of her hand! Wahooo! Had I been present, I would have jumped out of my seat and pumped my fist!!

The end of the story, right? Oh no, it gets better. Your thinking that Matt was disciplined for not letting her alone, right? Nope, Annie was dismissed to the principals office. I'm not going to go into the number of bias injustices that were imposed here, but, you can put the pieces together.

Now, I don't endorse violence to solve ones problems and I certainly wouldn't encourage dear Annie to use such tactics on a frequent basis, but, ha ha, you go girl! She was, consequently, suspended and her parents, smartly, removed her from the educational facility.

I say, Annie, get your guns girl! We need more assertive women in this world to stand up to the Matt's of the world. I won't list the butt holes that I should have slapped in my past, both long and recent. Hang in there girl, we'll get you through college yet. And you won't have to deal with the Matt's of the world, your grades will intimidate the hell out of them. Smart women always do...intimidate men. At least, the ones that aren't worth the time of day.

Sick ... Ooooh!

We have a growing problem in this country and it's presence as a political issue is getting hotter. It is quickly becoming one of five things that any Presidential candidate can't avoid having a policy statement on. And we can even include Hollywood as part of the bandwagon, of course, for better or worse. (I never did trust some of those famous people and their so called expertise.)

In this day and technological age we can treat just about anything. And with preventative medicine, we should have a country full of healthy people. Unfortunately we have 47 million Americans with little or no health coverage. For even the simple things. It seems from a humanistic stand point we should be doing something about this. If the old adage is true, "an once of prevention is worth a pound of cure", then our health care system needs to sit up an take notice.

Most of us can't get that preventative care covered by our insurance. Let's take birth control. Whether you agree with it or not, preventing a costly, unwanted pregnancy, is a great way to save money and a woman's health. Birth control typically cost $300 a year. Most insurance providers, now finally, offer some assistance with paying for it. But, in the recent past, they didn't. Insurance providers would willing foot the $5000 - $250,000 dollar delivery cost if you got pregnant, but not the cost of the birth control. Oxymoron? There's a lot of it in the insurance industry.

If you take your medication for heart problems, or even just exercise regularly, then you can avoid costly medical procedures and hospital stays. But, often, we just opt for the "easy way out" and go through the surgery and let the insurance company foot the bill, or if we live without insurance, sometimes, we pay with our lives.

I know where you're going with this, you're under the impression that I think a universal health care system would fix our woes. On the contrary. The government can't effectively and efficiently run...ANYTHING. Why in the hell would we want the over sized gorilla to take over health care? Have you been to a V.A. hospital recently? No thank you!!

I must say that some of the ideas presented here actually seem to have some merit. Especially encouraging doctors with "performance pay". I'm relieved that at least someone out there is thinking with their head and not their bottom line.

Where Are You From?

It would seem a rather benign question, "Where are you from?". Generally what we hear is, give a location of origin. But, for some of us, like myself, it is an essential question. One that has multiple meanings.

If you're four, well it's a very straight forward,"Where do you come from?" the answer is quite simple, "My Mom."

"Ha ha, no. Where do you live?"

"My house." an answer expressed with little hesitation, with no fluctuation in the voice or in ones reaction. It is, what it is. Duh. Can you just see the bubble over their heads? "Stupid grown-up".

As we get older, the question can pose some issues for some people. If they were born here in the U.S. and they appear to be of ethnic decent other then WASP, it can conjure feelings of resentment. How dare you think I'm from outside the U.S. borders!

For some of us it is an extreme sense of pride, to relay to someone where our origins originate. My parents are a perfect example. My mother has origins that go back to England and have a direct bloodline to some random Smith family. For most of us this would be highly insignificant. In Utah, it's akin to having a bloodline that can be traced to the Mayflower. In some circles, you aren't worth a note, let alone a nod or acknowledgement if your bloodline can't be traced to the Mayflower.

My Dad's side can be traced to hardy pioneer stock with associations that ran with the Danites. Again, in Utah, could be intriguing, could be scandalous. Anyway you look at it, it's fascinating. His youth was spent in Idaho where his father was a dirt farmer. He grew potatoes. You can still hear the pride in his stories, especially when you take my Dad back to Idaho. His home. His ground. His origins.



Anyway that I look at I see origins. You come from somewhere and where you come from has much to do with who you are. What you identify with and even your personality. Origins give you a starting place. Somewhere to stand. A ground to begin with. Perhaps, the mysterious aspects of my origins are what fascinate me about my adopted origins. In any sense I find it worth reading and studying. My origins? Idahoan Mormons. British Mormon immigrants. No matter which direction you point yourself, you find a Mormon. Hence, I am fascinated with Mormons. Mormon culture, Mormon society, Mormon history, Mormon origins.

I read a lot about Mormons. The good, the bad and the ugly. My family finds me weird, my friends, insane and the world at large? Well, some of our insanity is best kept within certain circles. No need to feed the neighborly gossip. But it is my origins. And, for better or worse it is part of me. Who I am, how I relate to the world, how I perceive the world. I don't believe anyone who tells me that their religion, especially Mormonism, doesn't affect them in the same way, to some degree.

I'm oft questioned about my voracious consumption of Mormon "reading". I've ceased to try and explain. We'll just chalk it up to insanity. And a lack of entertainment. I also don't try and discuss it with most people. They don't really care. They find it a waste of time. I find that, unfortunate. We put more research into a refrigerator than we put into a religion that we subscribe to. One keeps our food, the other governs our lives. Hmmmmm. You'll question, at length, the salesman at the appliance store. Doubt him, argue with him, even try to prove him wrong. But your religion? Uh uh! Hell no, no way. Not nobody, not no how!

Which brings us to the second aspect of religion that I find fascinating. The unbridled willingness to just accept it. A psychological phenomenon that is one of the best parts of people. We never question the impact it has on us and our behavior. We want to know what influence the seven year old that sits next to our kid in school has, but never think twice about the information that we are spoon fed from birth. I have my theories as to why this is. Blondie put it best, you don't question it, talk about it or confront it, because? It hurts.....Yes it does. And the case of human behavior, better to avoid what hurts. Right?

In any case, I'll keep reading. And I'll keep looking for someone to share it with. Although, I don't think I'll ever find someone to listen.

Drama, Drama, Drama

That is one of my favorite lines. Name the movie please? I used to own it, someday...someday, I will reacquire it. Maybe in person. Ha ha! I won't hold my breath.

But, on to the drama. I read, a lot. Mostly to and with the offspring. I have to educate them somehow. What little personal reading I do is mostly historical or clinical. No, seriously, I enjoy it. I think that those who surround me think that I'm crazy. Because, I am.

Some random individual ask me recently (wonder who that could be) if I had read some series that is really popular called 'Twilight'. Nope, can't say that I have. I seem to recall being posed the same question by my sister-in-law. Being asked a second time around I figured, what the hell. I need a little light reading, it'll be entertaining. It was. Not earth shattering, but entertaining. The jury is still out on whether or not I actually like the book. I can't say yet. I had to many flashbacks.

High school. Popular people. Drama. Gossip. Over emphasis of everything. Boys. Girls. You recall; when so and so said such and such and you were neeever going to speak to them again for such an offense. Please, next time I can find someone that perfect, I'll let you know. My whole life is one long series of "open mouth, insert foot". Last count, I had alienated two hands worth of people, none of whom had any real cause to be offended. I got smart in latter years and started apologizing, not that it helps. Dumb ass. Me, not them.

Hmmm, So, I read this book Sunday. Quick read. I wandered from absorbed to nauseated. Absorbed, because it's an engaging enough story. Nauseated, because I used to think like that. Good God, what high school girl doesn't have those ridiculous fantasies. Come to think of it I know some boys who've had those fantasies. (If you think that's a reference, please, don't flatter yourself.) Hell, if that girl can make money off a high school drama fantasy, I'm in the wrong business. Maybe I should write a book....I'll change the names, then I don't have to share the profits. Yeah, yeah, I've got the perfect co-author, Miss Andrea!! Oh the dish we could make.....Nah, I need time. And drama. Neither of which I have, one of which, I don't want. Drama, drama, drama.

Golf Clap Please....

Ralph Becker officially took his position as Salt Lake City Mayor this week. He's had three days in office and he had the moxie to do this!! Ralph Becker could shortly be on my list of hero's. If the City Council will follow through, I might actually believe there is light on the horizon in this city. Could we possibly start seeing the world from a humanist point of view? Oh say that it is so! Now, could we get Chris Buttars to put a sock in it?

A Momentary Interuption

I must have a moment to bitch about some current events that irritate me.

Hillary Clinton. I don't like her political position and I am thoroughly irritated that women vote for her primarily because she is a woman. Please! Get educated on her political positions. She wants to socialize this country!! Hello...are we paying attention?

Smoking. A group of Weber State University students wants to ban smoking on campus, with the exception of specifically designated areas. They are worried about the effect of second hand smoke. Oh my God!! We have now become the sheep we hate. Has anyone looked at recent studies on minimal exposure of second hand smoke? Including those "poor" restaurant servers who are exposed on a semi-regular basis....Arrrgh! Get a new obsession, you aren't going to increase your risk of cancer by being within 2 feet of these smokers on an infrequent basis! Get a life! Find something that will truly impact this world to focus your attentions on. Like a fucking education!! One that provides you with the ability to think critically. Something those women who keep voting for Hillary, just because she is a woman, also need!!!!

Frightening, truly frightening.

A Moment

I joke about moments. Mom moments, age moments, 2X4 moments. OK the 2X4 moments aren't usually ha, ha, funny moments. I had one, a moment, just now.

Eleka Nahmen.....I found a blog through a google search and the name, when I read it, meant nothing. In fact I pictured, in my mind, a beautiful, middle-eastern, individual. I posted about this blogger and our mutual acquaintance. I've emailed back and forth and I'm excited that I've "made a new friend".

This morning I was doing voice exercises.(Let it go, I don't sing in public.) And, GahLiiiinda, chose to practice to 'Wicked'. You are so shocked, I know.(Insert heavy note of sarcasm.) As I neared the end of the CD, a song that I enjoy but have not learned the words to, began to play. So, I got the words out so the I could memorize and sing along. I had a moment.....

Fiyero!
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen

Let his flesh not be torn
let his blood leave no stain
though they beat him
let him feel no pain
let his bones never break
and however they try
to destroy him
let him never die
let him never die

Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka nahmen
Eleka nahmen nahmen
Ah tum ah tum eleka...eleka

What good is this chanting?
I don't even know what I'm reading
I don't even know what trick I ought to try
Fiyero, where are you?
Already dead, or bleeding?
one more disaster I can add to my generous supply

No good deed goes unpunished
No act of charity goes unresented
No good deed goes unpunished
That's my new creed
My road of good intentions
Led where such roads always lead
No good deed
Goes unpunished!

Nessa...
Doctor Dillamond...
Fiyero...
Fiyero!!

One question haunts and hurts
Too much, too much to mention
Was I really seeking good
Or just seeking attention?
Is that all good deeds are
When looked at with an ice-cold eye?
If that's all good deeds are
Maybe that's the reason why

No good deed goes unpunished
All helpful urges should be circumvented
No good deed goes unpunished
Sure, I meant well -
Well, look at what well-meant did
All right, enough - so be it
So be it, then:
Let all Oz be agreed
I'm wicked through and through
Since I can not succeed
Fiyero, saving you
I promise no good deed
Will I attempt to do again
Ever again
No good deed
Will I do again!

My new friend, we have so much in common. I caught my breath. Your profile, the books, the music, the movies and interests, that musical, that song. Wow. Boom. Booyah. Eleka Nahmen. The words ring so prophetic to a particular story in my world. I have to remind myself, on occasion, that I can not let doubt get me down. My good will not be punished, I hope.

Woot! Woot!

Join me in a little happy dance? Hillary didn't do so well in the Iowa caucuses!! Ok, so it means very little. But, I can still do a little dance. Obama fared well, and so did Mitt. I'm conveniently ignoring the fact that Huckabee did well...Grrrrr.

OK, party over. I'll go back to being, liberal? Conservative? Naaaa, just confused. Ha, ha!!

Internet Oops!

Santa, and life in general, has been very generous to us this year. The children each got a personal laptop for Christmas. Indulgent? Perhaps. Convenient, in terms of home school, absolutely. My roller coaster life and human encounters over the year have given me a sense of excitement about the technological world we live in. If a fabulous, fun group of teens can utilize such things to such an advantage why not me? And why not the offspring. Maybe it'll make me "cool". OK, let's not go to far.

I've spent the better part of the week setting the offspring up with email accounts and school files on their computers. In my enthusiasm to gift them their laptops I've been trolling the Internet for the past few months looking for websites to help them out. In my excitement, with the help of my brother, I set up a MySpace page. Great idea, right? And, I put a link to my blog. Fabulous!! Or, not. Enthusiasm got the better of me I'm afraid. Being 'hip', is one thing. Being smart, a better idea. I learned to participate in a lot of things this summer in my "adventures", whether or not that makes me "in touch", "hip", "cool", or anything else, depends on the day and the activity. I rather think it's more apt to make me an ignoramus, as of late, than anything else. And I'll just delude myself into thinking I get an "A" for effort.

I think enthusiasm got the better of me, though. New Year's Day I received a rather scathing comment here at MisAdventure. The worst I've ever received.(Uhhh) When I tallied it, we were only missing one of the "seven dirty words". And one that isn't listed with the seven! (Good grief) It was not, fortunately, at the children's blog. Perhaps the MySpace page was a little too over the top. We'll see. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I crawled to the bathroom to...Hmmm, TMI. If you know me, you know the this did not bode well for my anxiety. It was a rough few days.

None the less, a lesson in cyber-bullying learned. Anonymity for the sender will work in their favor, I on the other hand, will be far more cautious. Security and privacy are of the utmost importance. I've been burned. And I respond in kind, Ouch! Perhaps it was a good one to learn. Maybe I can be more wary for the offspring.

Happy New Year! A Re-Cap

2007

What I learned.....

Anxiety is real: It sucks.

Learning to lose: It hurts.(And I'm not talking games)

Death/Loss: Hurts. Sucks. Changes you forever. Misunderstood by us all.

Husband: He rocks. Brings laughter to my heart. My best friend. (I only have one so 'husbands' sounded, well, wrong.)

Children: They bring the love and humor I crave. They also remind me that I am human and I'm far from perfect. Patient and accommodating for a parent that can't seem to raise them without somehow fucking them up.

Babies: Get Better with age..

Friends: Immeasurably valuable at any age, from 18 to 60. My friends fit the range.










Devious People: They Suck. Fun suckers. Charismatic wolf in sheep's clothing. People we hate to love and can't wait to love to hate. Worth leaving behind.

Teenagers: They rule. They're fickle. Hurtful. Joyous. Heartbreaking. More frustrating and unpredictable than my own children. (OMG I'll have one in 2 years!) Stuck in a world that neglects to emotionally fill them. Keep me young.

Swimming Pools: Rule and Suck equally. Can't wait for it all to open up again!!

Cabins: Kick-ass with the right company. To be shared with most

Luck: Strangely abundant.

Christians: Fucked up.

Christ-like people: few and far between.

Gays: To few and far between.

Politicians: Liars. Fuck-chops.

Lawyers: Mine rule. All of them. The rest....Crooked sons of bitches.

Accountants: To tightly wound

A Year: Getting shorter

This was, a year. It had ups and downs. Some of the ups took us soaring and some of the downs crashed hard. I look forward to the next. I hope it isn't as intense as this one has been. But 1/2 as blessed would still astound me.